5 Reasons You Should Stop Idolizing Him

5 Reasons You Should Stop Idolizing Him

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I know firsthand how easy it is to fall hard and lose yourself in the guy you love. He makes you happy and makes life easier to cope with…and you could totally see yourself living the rest of your life with him. You might have even started off with a strong sense of purpose and individuality, and next thing you know, this guy is your world. It may have even gotten to the point where you can’t even imagine who you are without him!

We’ve all been guilty of walking the slippery slope between adoration and idolization when it comes to that special guy. For the sake of clearing your head, here are five reasons why you should be able to separate your own identity and NOT idolize him.

  1. He won’t make all your problems go away. There will always be trials and struggles you’ll have to face around and within yourself—and he won’t be the answer to them. There will be many parts of your journey that only you can face because they’re a part of building the woman you are becoming. So yes, he might make life easier for the moment and brighten things, but you will still have trials to face that he can’t fix. Your first foundation is to learn how to journey with God and yourself because God will never leave you and you will always have to face yourself.
  2. He may fail you. He’s human, and unless you haven’t grown close enough to face very hard and trying times together, you’ll quickly learn that there will be times you’ll have to forgive some of his actions. He may not intentionally mean to disappoint you, but it happens because guys too are imperfect. Even “good” guys fall short and make mistakes. Expecting a perfect relationship is a setup for disappointment. He may do and say all the right things now, but as the two of you get closer, you’ll begin to see more of each other’s shortcomings, which is the purpose for grace. However, it’s also a clear indicator that no man can be our savior.
  3. He can’t have a strong relationship with God for you. It’s easy and natural to admire these guys who show such reverence for God. A godly relationship is the goal! But relationships are made up ofboth of the people in them. Godly relationships don’t just happen, they’re built—and they’re built individually first. If we’re not keeping God first personally, how can we expect to keep God first in our relationship? Spiritual growth should be built and maintained with ourselves no matter whether we’re single, courting or married, because a God-centered relationship starts with the foundation we bring into the picture, not based on him.
  4. He isn’t the cure to your insecurities. If anything, the vulnerability of love and life with another person brings out your insecurities even more. Whatever void of love or esteem you have for yourself is something you have to pursue with God for yourself. This is an inside job. No guy can cure a woman’s insecurities. He may help you feel better about yourself to some degree, but that’s like putting a Band-Aid on a serious wound. You will ultimately still have to do that digging and healing for yourself. There’s a reason its called self-worth, self-love, self-esteem—it’s only something youcan assume for yourself.
  5. He may be a part of your life, but He is not your purpose. As women, when we encounter a relationship with our special guy, it’s easy to picture our life together 10 years down the road: kids, marriage, the house and everything. It’s easy for him to become our future vision and become our primary purpose. But we lose sight of the purposes God has for us individually and the gifts he has uniquely given us to impart into the world. It’s possible to see your future with a guy and still build who you are as an individual apart from him. In fact, having individual hobbies and goals makes the relationship more interesting and dynamic. Most guys admire a girl who has a passion for something!

God has a purpose for your life that is greater than your relationship status. Don’t ever lose sight of that.

~ Project Inspired

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I AM blessed!

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Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Eph 1:3

What are you Grateful/thankful for today?

Comparison Is The Enemy of Self-worth

There are a lot of things in my life that I feel like I do well. But for every skill I think I’ve mastered, there is always another person that I think does it a little bit better than me. In some cases, this may be true, but in others, it’s due to a helping hand of comparative insecurities that I hold so dear to my heart.

I discovered the hard way that comparing myself to the accomplishments and life of others has a way of making you feel inferior, no matter how untrue this fact may really be. And for most of my life, I let the infectious disease of comparison dwell within my heart, destroying my self-worth and confidence from the inside out. It’s not a great place to find yourself in, and I wouldn’t recommend you travel down the road of comparison any time soon. Easier said than done. I know.

Comparison brought my insecurities to a level they had never been before, and instead of being the guy who was willing to try and accomplish anything that was thrown his way, I became so wrapped up in the negative thoughts I had towards myself. So much so, that I eventually reverted to not trying anything new at all. I became stale and stagnant in life—Uncharacteristic to who I really was inside. And when you already suffer from severe depression, having the mentality of “Why even bother?” added as the icing on top is just a recipe for disaster. I was being pulled around like a dog on a leash, and the insecurities I encountered due to constantly comparing myself to others were all leading me farther and farther away from my worth and value in life. I was journeying through a dark and dangerous tunnel that would lead me to nowhere of love.

The lies of comparison will suck the life out of you, yet so many of us do it on a daily basis. We compare our looks, our relationships, our kids, our talents, our social status, our houses and even our job titles. Some of us doing while we are shopping at our local grocery store, while others do it scrolling through the thousands of photos and status updates made by people who we know nothing about. We love to compare, but I don’t think we realize the hurt we are doing to ourselves in the process. We’re indirectly beating ourselves up by picking apart the flaws we have in comparison to the highlight reels of others. It’s wrong. It’s harmful. It needs to stop. It’s not helping anyone.

The 4 Lies of Comparison

1. “I’m not good enough.”

2. “They are better than me.”

 3. “They have more to offer than me.”

4. “Why even bother?”

Don’t listen to the lies of comparison. It’s never a good idea. And it’s always going to lead you down the path of insecurity. We must understand that everyone has a purpose in this world and that we were all made differently for a reason. There is no partiality in the eyes of God, and when your worth is found in Him instead of the opinions and comparison of others, you’ll be surprised to see your lack of self-worth start to subside in your life. Genesis 1:27 states, “God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Nobody can steal this truth from you. You and I were created in the image of God, and that alone is something to be proud of.

Be who God created you to be. Everybody else is already taken. It’s time to kill comparison and find our worth in God.

—Jarrid Wilson

Oh you model?

Oh you model?

All attention is not equal. Girls, you might think that you want attention, but you dont. What you want is respect. I’m so tired of seeing these girls lower themselves to the point where they are prostituting their bodies for “likes” on the internet. How did we get here? How did we go from being the gentler, more valuable and prized gender to being the bait… Luring men to hell with our bodies…..?

Read Proverbs 7 if you don’t believe me…

And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:10-12, 25-27

Posing in a bra and underwear on Instagram doesn’t make you a “model”… it makes you look cheap and easy.  What you’re doing isn’t modeling. Models pose on a professional photo set to sell products for a company they get a check from. They get paid for modeling… they aren’t giving themselves away for free to random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles. The psychology behind your behavior is simple: You’re suffering from a lack of self-esteem and are looking externally to make yourself feel good about you. But you’re kidding yourself. It’s called self-esteem because it emanates from the self. It comes from a place deep inside where you know you are a daughter of the living God, you know the price that was paid for you to be free from sin and filth- a price far above rubies. An immodestly dressed woman is giving away something that doesn’t belong to her. This principle of ownership means that you and I are not free to dress in any way we please. We’re accountable to God.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10Let’s be clear… Any picture of a barely clothed girl will get lots of views online. You will attract lots of perverts to tell you how hot you are… Among other things. You showing yours doesn’t make you special. The “likes” and “shares” you get are not because they like you.  They like what you are giving them… they don’t care who you are.

I have brothers. I have friends. I have loved ones that I have to protect. I’ll choose respect.. Respect for myself and respect for those around me. I’ll choose not to show off parts of myself that every other girl has and can show off far too easily. I’ll choose to keep my secrets and not have them be a part of every dirty man’s sinful fantasies. I’m not ok with that.. And neither is God.

Guys, who are you giving away your eyes and mind to? Are you saving your eyes for the most beautiful girl you will ever lay eyes on– your wife? Or are you getting cheap thrills from every pic on the popular page? If you are, you are just as guilty.

“Here are some very important questions that I always ask young men: 1) Are you attracted to her biblical beauty – or are you attracted to her sensuality? Sensuality proceeds from a wicked heart {Mark 7:21-23}. Also, sensuality is a deed of the flesh {Galatians 5:19}. A woman can properly be called beautiful. A woman can properly be called elegant, but a woman who is sensual has an evil heart. I know many, many women who when you look at them, you would think to yourself: what a beautiful, refined, elegant lady. And honestly, as a man of God, that’s all you would think. And there are other women, young men, that do not carry half the physical beauty, that if you are a man of God and you see them walking through the church doors, you put your head down because of the sensuality coming out of their heart. Young men, you RUN from sensuality! Run from it because sensuality is just a public advertisement of the condition of the heart. Run from it! And young women…run from sensuality in men because it’s there, too. If ANYONE dresses or acts in any way so as to promote the frame of their body, it’s SENSUALITY.” – Paul Washer

If I determine to live my life for the glory of God—that will affect why I wear what I wear. It will make me think about how I present myself. Satan wants to strip you, make a fool of you, and merchandise your body, but your heavenly Father wants to clothe you with beauty, strength, dignity and honor that will endure. True beauty is internal and spiritual. We should be honoring God through the way we present ourselves. Our outward appearance is nothing but a reflection of an inward spirit. Is our reflection pure and submissive to Christ? Or is it self-serving and lustfully indulgent?

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 1 John 2:16

Ladies, you have the same body parts every other woman has. If that’s what you’re advertising with, you’re only going to attract a man looking for the cheapest price. Maybe all men aren’t poor, maybe you’ve just marked your prices too low. It’s YOU who tells people what your value is. Stop selling yourself so cheaply. If you really want to be treated like something of worth, get your goods off the clearance rack and place yourself behind the glass where they keep the valuables. Display a heart that will actually keep a man around… not a toy meant for one-time-use only.

If you are after attention there is plenty to be had, but if you want true beauty then you have to look at the big picture. Take a good look at yourself and the pictures you post. What kind of attention are you looking for? What kind of attention are you getting? What are you telling people about yourself? What are you telling people about your God? In 20 years, who will be around to give you your self-esteem if it all comes from Instagram? Choose respect. Choose beautiful.

As for me, I’ll take truly beautiful over “hot” any day, because that way, in 20 years I’ll still be beautiful. What’s your choice?

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